How important are you as a Role Model for your child?

Sometimes you can forget how important you are as a positive Role Model for your child, and just take this vital part of the Father child dynamic for granted. Your child will observe and copy everything you do, all the time, even if you are not aware he is doing it. Boys particularly will observe very closely what you as their father are doing.

As the joint most important Role Model in your child’s life, you have a huge responsibility to lead by example, however difficult it appears to be at times. The way you behave will be considered as normal and acceptable behaviour by your child. If you are considerate and calm, your child will be. If you are aggressive and loud, you child will also be like that. The question is always, ‘what constitutes a good Role Model for your child’?

Remember at all times, ‘your children are what you make them’. Whatever you are doing or saying you must always keep this in mind. Your child will reflect how you are towards them and others on a day to day basis. The following tips on being a good Role Model are fairly obvious, and certainly not meant as a lecture, but only as an ‘aide memoire’ and is also certainly not an exhaustive list. The goal is simply to help you improve the quality of your child’s life going forward as they pass through childhood.

Work hard at what you do (paid or unpaid)

Be nice to people, even if they irritate you

Be polite and kind to everyone you come across in life

Be tolerant of other people’s differences with you

Always help others if you are able to

Never be aggressive, nasty or react violently

Be a good citizen and respect the laws of the country

Be a good listener and give your time to people you meet

If you haven’t got anything nice to say about someone, then don’t say it at all

They all seem fairly obvious, but in the heat of the moment, we often forget. Your children look to you as their beacon and you must truly lead by example.

 

Do children break things deliberately?

How annoyed should you get when your child breaks something? Should you make it a big issue if they do?

Your child will very rarely break something deliberately, so you should always keep your reaction in proportion to the misdemeanour. Many times it will be just because they were clumsy, so keep in mind, accidents do happen!

Your child will observe carefully how you behave when he breaks things. If you blow it out of all proportion, then he may have several reactions. He could become scared and nervous that you might shout or aggress him. This could make him become very timid. Or he may take your lead and over dramatize other things that go wrong in his life. Worse still, he may become very blasé and casual towards other peoples property, and treat their possessions with no respect.

Material possessions although often quite precious, can always be replaced (most of the time anyway). Therefore, you should always keep this in mind when considering your reaction to a breakage. If you exaggerate your response, the situation may degenerate, when in fact the lesson you really want to pass over to your child, is that he needs to pay attention to things. It doesn’t matter whether it is one of his toys, a glass, or even a window in your house, everything is replaceable.

How you react will determine his behaviour as he grows up.