The last thing you want or need when you arrive home with your new baby, is for your older child to become jealous. This will just make it very difficult and stressful, at a time when you and your child’s mother are emotionally and in the case of your partner, physically drained. So what can you do to avoid this and make the arrival of your new family member as seamless as possible?
Before your new baby is born, you should talk to your older child and explain what is going to happen. You will already have told him why ‘mummy’s tummy is growing’, and what will happen when his new sibling arrives. This is something that you, as a father ,can really focus on, as you and your older child are not part of the ‘mummy/baby physical’ relationship.
When it is time to bring your new baby home, make sure you bring a ‘special’ present home with her, specially for her older brother. This present is from his new sister, and will be valued and appreciated hugely by her older sibling. This will serve a few purposes. Firstly it will help prevent any jealousy when she arrives. Secondly, it will be a good distraction for him at times when you need to be focused on your new baby. Finally, it will help your older child to understand that, as his new sister is smaller, sometimes she needs to be looked after before you both can focus on him.
Your older child will remember this small gesture for years into the future, and it will help start the complex sibling relationship off, in your home, on the right foot.